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Hey, this is Matthew Rix and today on the Music
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Business newsletter, we got an email from a guy who's
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trying to figure out how to make it in music
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when you have zero time. But before we dive into
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that email, ask you to go ahead and subscribe to
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this channel. Leave a comment if you agree or disagree,
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or if you want to give give our man here
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some words of encouragement or advice. And if you have
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a question on the music industry that you'd like for
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me to answer, just go to Matthewicks dot com click submit.
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Your question can be as many details as possible, and
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I will answer it here on the channel. But for
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today's email, it's a good one. The email says, Hey, Matthew,
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I'm at a point where I honestly don't know what
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to do anymore. I am thirty six years old. I
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sing country music, and I know I've got a lot
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of real talent. I'm not trying to sound full of
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my software arrogant, but I generally, I genuinely believe I
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could be a star if I just had the time
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to actually work on this. Well, I will start off
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by saying, at least your self aware that you don't
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have a lot of time, and you sent the question
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in looking for advice. So that's better than just sitting
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around going to your friends who have no dreams, who
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have no vision, whose lives are completely and utterly chaotic,
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and saying I don't have any time, and they go,
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I understand, but let's continue with the email, shall we?
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He says, here's the problem. I don't have time, like none,
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between a full time job, three kids with school stuff
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every other night, a wife who expects me to be
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fully present when I'm home, friends who get offended if
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I skip hanging out with them, and the one hobby
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that still keeps me saying pickleball. I've never played pickleball.
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I've been asked to play pickleball. I've never done it.
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Usually pickleball people are like vegetarians. They love to tell
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you that they play pickleball, and I just haven't known yet.
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Maybe in twenty twenty six, when the weather warms up,
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he says. I feel like I'm being stretched in twenty directions. Well,
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let me tell you, welcome to having a career and
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having kids. I don't I think. I think if we
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were to survey any parent who's actively involved with their kids,
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who has a full time job. I think I think
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all of us feel that way. You don't mention where
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you're from, you don't mention if the kids have any activities,
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if you're in travel sports or not, and if you know,
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and a wife who expects you to be fully present
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when home. Yeah, I mean all of that is the
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responsibilities that you signed up for. A job, kid's wife,
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the friends who get offended if you skip hanging out
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with them, who cares? Your friends need to be supportive
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of what you're doing. I recorded this in Matric's minute
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like two years ago, where it's like you might need
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to say about to some of your friends because I
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think your friends they will encourage you. Not all, but
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most friends will encourage you when you're starting off something
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because you have the guts to do something that they
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want to do. But if it gets in the way
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of the friendship, then you really start to see how
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supportive your friends are. You know, if you can't go
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to the barbecue, if you can't go to movie night,
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you start to see who really does support what you're doing.
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But having a full time job and a couple of
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kids with school stuff, I mean, and a wife, that's
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just being an adult man. That's called adulting right there.
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The pickleball, you know, cut it out, the friends cut
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them out. If you tell me you don't have time,
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then you don't have time for pickleball. I I'm a
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single dad, co parent, and we have to co parent
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with a daughter who is aggressively in travel softball. Shout
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out to the explosions. And so you're constantly going to
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batting cages, You're constantly going to practices or all day
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tournaments or traveling to all day tournaments, and you still
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got to do a career. You still gotta, you know,
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make time to go to the gym or go walk,
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and it just turns into what your priorities are. I
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have never looked at the sacrifice that I've made for
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either one of my kids and been like, you've gotten
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in my way. But I also don't have a pickleball addiction.
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Yet apparently if I play, I'm gonna love it. The
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email continues. Now on top of all that, I'm being
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told by people like you that I need to constantly
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be posting if I want anyone to take me serious
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as an artist. My wife even told me last week,
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either get serious about this or stop pretending it's your dream.
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So I'm not a relationship guy. I am single, very single.
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I don't have time. You know, when the wife is
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getting that intense with the motivation is one and you
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probably have more time than you're putting in the email,
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because the wife probably notices you lounging on the couch
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watching Netflix or just wasting your time doom scrolling, and
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then she probably feels your anxiety that nothing's happening, You're
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not moving forward. This sucks, the dream is dead, and
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she's probably has to act like your therapist and your
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mommy and your business manager. And so if your wife
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is telling you that, do either get serious about this
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or stop pretending it's your dream. It's your wife is
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exhausted with you, and she's probably tired of the mood swings,
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and she's probably tired of you wasting your time. And
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then you probably complain to her that you have no time,
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but she probably sees you wasting your time at pickleball
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or jumping because your friends want you to hang out
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with them on a Friday night and you go do it.
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But let's continue with the email. He says, when my
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wife said that, that really hit me, not because she's wrong,
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but because honestly, I don't know how I'm supposed to
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do that with everything else going on. Cut out pickleball,
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cut out the friends. He says, I feel like I'm
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being punished for being a responsible adult. Alex Hermosi says,
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it's not your nine to five that kills your dream.
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It's what you do from five to nine, what you
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do after you get home. And you're telling me that
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you know you got pickleball, and you got friends who
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don't understand that you're trying to pursue a dream, and
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that's getting in the way. That's your problem right there.
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You could the time that you take playing pickleball, you
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could make enough content for the week and schedule it
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and then you have to check your social media throughout
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the week to respond to reply to, like whatever. But
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if pickleball is getting in the way, Pickleball's got to go.
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If Friday night Poker with the boys is getting in
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the way, Poker's gotta go. Or to hang with the friends.
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I got a really good friend here in town. Producer
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shout out to Taylor Bailey. We have been trying to
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get together now for seven weeks, and it's like oh,
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are you free this date? Now I can't. I gotta
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go to my daughter's softball practice. Are you free this day?
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He's like, Now I got a songwriting session. Are you
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free this day? I'm like, now, I gotta take my
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son to acting class. I got to be at acting class.
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It's just and nobody gets offended. Everybody just understands, like,
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this is life, this is your life. He says. I
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feel like I'm being punished for being a responsible adult,
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Like the only people who get to make it are
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the ones who don't have real lives or real responsibilities.
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Well that's not true at all, he says. I don't
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get to disappear into the studio for twelve hours or
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spend every weekend chasing content. Yeah, but you do get
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to spend every weekend playing pick a ball and hanging
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with your boys. He says. I barely get thirty minutes
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a day to myself, and that's usually while hiding in
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my car before going inside. This is why we call
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everybody bob or say okay, because his wife probably is
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dealing with a bunch of screaming kids and he's sitting
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in the car dreaming about pickleball, hiding in the car
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before going inside. Okay, he continues, it feels unfair. I
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want this, I really do, not more than you want pickleball,
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he says. I just don't have the luxury of endless
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time like younger artists or single people do. I mean,
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I know single people who tell me how busy there.
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They don't have time to pursue their career. It's because like, well,
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what are you doing on the weekends. Oh, well, you know,
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Friday and Saturday nights, I go out with my friends
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and then you know, I'm recovering on Saturday and Sunday.
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And I'm like, well, there's a problem right there. You know,
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the single people, their biggest distraction is they're just wiping
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too much on Tender or stalking their x on Instagram.
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And then they're like, oh, I don't know where the
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night went. I think I do, he goes. So I
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guess what I'm asking is, how is someone with a
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real adult life supposed to con heat in this industry?
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How is someone with a real adult life supposed to
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compete in this industry? You make time, You make time
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for what's important. If you put the kids down, you
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need to be a dad first. You need to be
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a husband first, then you're an art at second. But
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once you put the kids down, you've spent some time
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with the missus, she feels happy. You probably are watching
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Netflix or Jimmy Kimmel or something like that. Take that
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thirty minutes, upload some content, try to book a show,
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send the emails out, connect with fans, and then thirty
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minutes and it'll become rewarding. If you're serious, it'll become
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rewarding where you'll continue to do it. I don't personally
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like social media, like I know I have to post.
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I used to never post, and then I got called
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out for being a hypocrite by an artist that I
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work with, and he said, you know, you're a hypocrite.
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House out. He goes, you're always telling us to post.
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You never post. I'm gonna crap, But I don't like,
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you know, I don't like. I won't post pictures with
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like artists, friends of mine and stuff because I'm not
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trying to pimp them to get likes or follows. So
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I always just try to find cool experiences to engage with.
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Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I think anybody who's
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married or has kids and has a full time job
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they could literally sit here and tell you, yeah, you
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you have my same life. They probably don't have pick
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a ball, but they've probably neglected their friends. They have,
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you know, neglected their hobbies. I mean just the other day,
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I was talking to my friend and I'm like, I'd
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like to take a painting class, like, you know, like
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learn how to paint. I just don't have time to
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do it, you know, because there's always something. There's always
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something with with the career. There's I mean, you know,
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the last couple of days, I've been going to industry stuff.
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I've had to be a dad. And when you're a
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single dad, you don't you don't have a wife to
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hide out in the car. You're there. And then when
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you don't have your kids, you try to like work
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as much as you possibly can because you know you're
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about to get them again. But even when you don't
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have custody of your kids, you still you're still going
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to the softball practices, You're still going to the tournaments,
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You're still picking them up, take them to the cages.
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You know, you still gotta work. You know you still
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gotta you still gotta make money. I still got to date.
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I still got to do these newsletters. I still got
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to go to showcases at night or movie premieeres or whatever.
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It's just the way it is. So how does somebody
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with a real adult life supposed to compete in this industry? Well,
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the people who win in this industry they have talent, yes,
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but they have drive. They'll lose a half an hour
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of sleep a night to do something. They won't play
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pickleball because that time could be used on something far greater.
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They're not scrolling on TikTok. They're not scrolling on Instagram
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all night long. They're they're laser light focus. My single
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people out there, the ones who are serious, they're not
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on Tinder. They're not on hinge because they know they
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don't have the time or the emotional energy. You know,
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and if you're a single parent, you ain't got time
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for all that stuff anyways. So how do you make
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it as a real adult? You sacrifice for what you
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want or what you want will become a sacrifice. You
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put down the pickleball. You tell your friends, like during
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this season, I can't hang out with you every Friday night,
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every Saturday night, because in all of this I don't
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even know if you're dating your wife properly, like, are
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you going out with your wife? Are you spending time
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with your wife? Is your wife resenting you because you're
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kind of shelving her so you can focus on your career.
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I think that if you want to be serious about
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this and you say you have no time, but you
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got your one love, Pickleball and your friends, get rid
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of that stuff. Don't watch Netflix at night, don't watch news.
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When you put the kids down, you spend some time
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with your wife. Give it thirty minutes to an hour.
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Post content, create content. You can answer. You could talk
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about your song by sitting on your couch when everybody's asleep.
