Nov. 21, 2025
How to Keep Going When You’ve Been Burned in the Music Industry
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In this episode of the Music Business Newsletter with Matthew Rix, I read one of the rawest, most honest emails I’ve ever received.
A musician in his 30s tired, disappointed, and skeptical wrote in to vent.
He doesn’t believe I can help him. He barely thinks anyone can help him at this point.
After years in music, he’s been:
• Betrayed by close friends
• Let down by bandmates who walked away
• Ghosted by producers and managers
• Fed promises that never turned into anything
• Burned enough times that hope feels dangerous
Now he’s jaded. He’s bitter. He’s exhausted.
And he’s asking a brutally real question:
“Why should I even keep doing music anymore?”
If you’ve ever felt burned by the people around you, or like the industry has taken more than it’s given back, this episode is going to feel uncomfortably familiar in a good way.
Got your own story or question?
Go to https://MatthewRix.com.
Tell me everything the details matter, and your story could help someone else survive this industry too.
Listen to Mattrix Minute for daily Music Business insight without the music industry hype.
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Hey, this is Matthew Ricks, and today on the Music
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Business newsletter, we have an email from an artist who's
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been burned by a lot of people in the industry.
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But before we dive into that email, I'm gonna go
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ahead and ask you to click like and subscribe to
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this channel. If you have a comment, good or bad,
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please drop it below. And if you have a question
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on the music industry that you'd like for me to answer,
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just go to Matthewicks dot com click submit your question,
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give me as many details as possible, and I will
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answer it here Now for the email, I just also
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want a caution. This is a this might this could
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be a trigger warning for some of you who've been
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in the industry for a while, he says, Matthew, I'll
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be straight with you from the start. I'm a skeptic.
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I'm not even convinced you can help me, and honestly,
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I'm not expecting you to. I'm writing this more because
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I need to vent somewhere that isn't my notes app
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or my steering wheel. We've all been there about everything
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in life. Safe place here invent, and I think, I think,
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I think, if if anybody would be honest with themselves.
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I think everybody would say, whatever the whatever the situation
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is in your life, that yeah, you vented into your
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app and in your car. The the problems I have
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solved talking it out just by myself in the car.
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Sometimes I let I tell people that I think you
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should probably work it out alone before you get on
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the phone or you send that email. But let's continue
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with this email, he says. I'm a guy in my
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third he's been doing music for a long time, and
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the only thing I've gotten consistently from people in this
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industry is disappointment. He says. I've been betrayed by people
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who are supposed to be closest to me. Bandmates I
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trusted walked out of me right before shows, or behind
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my back started making plans to replace me. I can
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relate to all of this now. Out in business, you're
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going to have people who they're going to line up
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your replacement before because they can't have that gap, so
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they're going to maybe start interviewing behind you, behind your back.
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I'm not technically a fan of that. I don't like
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monkey branching, but it does happen. Being betrayed by people
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who were supposedly closest to you. Yeah, check bandmates I
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trusted walked out of me right before shows. I actually
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had that happen in twenty fourteen. Matric's minute had taken off.
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We were getting ready to do a bunch of events
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around the country and then the world, and I think
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a week before my right hand guy, I had my
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partner that I was doing business with, but then my
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right hand guy, the guy who at this time in
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my life he could look at me and know if
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I was having a good day or if he needed
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to bring something up whatever, he quit, just up and quit.
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He I think he, honestly, I think he found a girl,
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and I think of that, if I remember correctly, he
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found a girl and he just didn't want to do
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this anymore. And I'm still I'm still close with them
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because I also understand that, like everybody's got to do
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their thing, I can't hold you in my circle. And
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then behind my back started making plans to replace me.
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So in two thousand and three, I won't mention the
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name of the band. I was out on tour with
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the band doing merchandise and I started in a van
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with them. Then their single took off and everybody was
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sweating them, and they just kept getting bigger and bigger
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and bigger. And we were opening but on an arena
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tour and the band started like we were bros two
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months prior, and this one weekend they were just they
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were kind of squirrely with me. And I will always
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remember we were in Indiana. It was like February snowing
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out and we're in the bus because we went from
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a van to like a crappy bus to a good
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bus to like a really good bus, like all within
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a year. And I was like, what is going on?
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And they're like, no, nothing, everything's cool. We'll talk tomorrow
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because we were going home the next day and I
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was like, no, we're going to talk now. Well lo
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and behold. I had ticked off their manager and because
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he was doing something I just didn't agree with and
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they needed to get through this weekend run and then
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they were going to fire me when we got back
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to Nashville, and I found out that they were that
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whole week because we went out on the weekend and
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then we came home for a couple of days and
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we went back out on the weekend. They were interviewing
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people behind my back, and the guy that they wanted
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couldn't have started that weekend. He was on another two
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were and so they just they strung me along that weekend.
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It was kind of a betrayal because I had turned down,
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you know, I was doing merch at this time. I
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had turned down other gigs to stay with those guys
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because they were like family, and nobody had my back,
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you know, nobody said, well, this is how mad is
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or like they just they just rolled over for their manager.
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Long story short on that one band went on to
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do amazing things. I actually ran into them a couple
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of years later when I was working for a label
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and everything was cool. It's it is the nature of
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the business. I do not do business this way. I
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don't go behind people's backs and start replacing people. But
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a lot of people do because they they don't want to.
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They don't want to fire you. I mean now, granted,
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basically on Saturday night, I found out that tomorrow night
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you're getting fired when you get back to Nashville. So
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the next twenty four to thirty hours was a little awkward,
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but we survived. But a lot of people don't want
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to have that gap, you know, So if the guy
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they wanted couldn't start for a month. They would have
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stretched it out for a month with me, he continues.
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Friends promised they'd help with gigs, promotions, connections, and then
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vanish the second it required effort. Don't rely on friends.
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I don't think you should rely on family either. I
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just unless you're like seventeen eighteen years old and you're
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you know, your parents are helping you kind of filter
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things out. But I don't think you rely on your family.
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I don't think your family. You know, I grew up
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in a music industry family. There was a there was
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one point that everybody in my family was in the
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music industry. And sometimes it you know, you know, your
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sibling doesn't like this artist, but you're working with this artist.
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There's times that you might have to do something that's
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going to tick off somebody in your family. But you
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got to kind of do what's right for you, even
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though you know, and I'm like this, I'm guilty. It's like, well,
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you know I don't work with them. You shouldn't either.
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You know. I was with a woman for a pretty
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good amount of time who worked at a record label,
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and one of our top artists was a group that
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I wouldn't even walk across the room to say hi
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to and they want to do the same for me,
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And it just kind of can get a little bit interesting.
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But when it comes to friends, friends will tell you
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what yeah, yeah, yeah, of course, because they think it's
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gonna be easy. But then also you have friends who
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will be jealous, or you have friends who think you're
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wasting your time, and it's just kind of a kind
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of a terrible situation to rely on friends for stuff
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like that. I also don't believe you do business with
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friends because you're gonna do You're gonna approach things differently.
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Same thing with family. I don't think you do business
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with family. But I don't think you do business with
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friends because you guys are gonna you guys might want
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to get to the same place, but you're gonna take
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it different ways, right, And then the friendship gets fractured,
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and then the business might not happen, or the venture
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might have and might not happen, and you've lost a
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friendship as well. I think your friends just need to
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be your friends, you know, they need to be the
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people that you kind of unplugged from. They're kind of
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the people who keep you centered and humbled, if you will,
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but let's continue with email. He says, the friends you know,
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promised to help with gigs, promotions, connections, and vanished the
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seconds required effort. Producers told me they believed in me,
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then ghosted me. Managers hyped me up and said they
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take me to the next level, then never return a call.
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And once I signed something that was supposed to be
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a partnership, managers hyped me up and said they take
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me to the next level, then never returned a call.
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Once I signed something that was supposed to be a partnership.
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The other night, I was out at a showcase and
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there's a couple of artists planned, like six to seven artists,
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and there was one guy who was absolutely phenomenal that
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wasn't even the artist that we were out there looking at.
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And my my buddy, who's a producer, was like, I'm
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gonna go up to them and you know, tell them
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like you're the next big thing. I was like, yeah,
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you should, because the songs were great. That's producers told
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you that they believed in you, and then they ghosted you.
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Managers hyped you up and said they take you to
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the next level, then never return a call. Once you
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signed something that was supposed to be a partnership, So
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producers telling you that they believed in you and then
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ghosted you. That's producer talk, you know though. I mean
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producers and our guys label heads. Dude, They'll tell you
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whatever they need to just to get out of your face,
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just to get you to like leave them alone. I
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know stories of artists like going up to like producers
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and and our directors while they're at dinner with their family,
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you know, pitching their music or hey I e mailgie,
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never got back. Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, I believe in you.
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The manager is hyping you up and said they take
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you to the next level, then never returned to call.
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Once you sign something, that one is that the uh?
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I mean? So you don't say, so you sign a contract,
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then you get ghosted? What what that do? You just
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like move on and side another contract and get ghosted again.
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And I'm wondering, you say, producers and managers like is
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this one or is this like constantly producers are like,
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oh yeah, we love you, and then they never talk
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to you. And managers you keep signing with and then
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it goes bust. He continues, People in this industry swear
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they'll introduce me to the right people, and it all
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leads to months of waiting around for something that never happens. Yeah,
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I mean this, dude, Honestly, this sounds like a lot
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of people are just a lot of It sounds like
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a lot of people in this industry. I don't you
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don't say where you live, but dude, you're probably like
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in people's faces and they're just telling you whatever, whatever
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the whatever you want to hear, just to just to
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get out of their face. I have never told people
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like I'll introduce you. I got best friends, They've traveled
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with me and will still be out to dinner. We'll
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still be in the airport together. And someone will come
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up in the industry and they're like, you know that guy.
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I'm like, yeah, like you never like told the's like,
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I don't bribe about that stuff. I will never promise like, oh,
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introduce you to X, Y and Z like I actually, honestly,
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like a lot of times with people, I'll be like, hey,
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this guy's probably gonna approach you. Run let's use of
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what I do. But he continues every time someone tells
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me they're going to help. It's like the kiss of death,
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nothing ever comes from it. Well, here's the thing. Are
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they volunteering to help or are you asking them to help?
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Like our producers, like, dude, I heard your music, you're awesome.
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I want to work with you, like what happened at
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the showcase? Or are you going up to the producer
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and he's like, yeah, you should work with me and
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he's like, yeah, yeah, you know, it would be the
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next big thing. I don't every time someone tells me
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they're going to help, it's like the kiss of death.
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Nothing ever comes from it. I'm wondering. I don't want
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to beat you up here, but I'm wondering if there's
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a little bit of like you're hounding these people. They
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tell you whatever you want to hear, so you leave
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or hang up the phone or get out of their face,
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and then you walk away and they're just relieved that
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you left, Like are you coming on way too strong?
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Like a thirsty guy on a dating app. At this point,
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the empty promises sting more than the outright rejection. At
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least rejection is honest. Yeah, I don't. That's a big
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thing in the industry because then let's say you do
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do something amazing in six or twelve months, they can
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come back around and just ah, it's really busy. You know,
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dog dog had to go to the groomerfe wife got pregnant.
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You know, you know, like they can because they they'll
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blow you off without hurt, without blowing up the bridge,
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so that they can always come back. And you just
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kind of hang out there. You're just you're just kicking it.
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I don't. I don't. I don't do that because I've
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